Day 22: Nūnu’e, Bora Bora, Society Islands, French Polynesia
Our day started off with a bit of a hiccup. Our ship couldn’t enter the bay due to a 40mph windy storm. The Captain had to swing out and around and make another approach. (In a ship, this is a bigger deal than in an airplane, which most of us have experienced at least once.) So, we were already about an hour late.
We had planned/ordered breakfast in our room because we wanted to watch the as we came into this port. But even during the second pass, there was just too much cloud cover.
When it was time for Excursions to meet in their groups, we noticed that we waited a bit longer than usual. And then, after we took the tender to the dock, it was a little bit longer-than-usual wait to meet our tour. We didn’t time it, but neither was more than about 15 minutes. We knew we were at the right spot because our Seaborn Destinations crew was telling us where to go. As soon as our snorkel boat was about to shove off, we learned why we were the last group called. The poor captain/owner of the tour felt terrible and was apologizing. Apparently, he didn’t have a guide and put in a last-minute call up one of his guys, Gael. If he hadn’t told us he/they/someone flaked, we never would have known. We just thought we were at the end of the line. It was a very minor hiccup because Seabourn moved us to the end so we’d sit inside more and stand in the sun less.
I didn’t care for the long-ish route back to where we came in…that was a bit odd since it was simply a backtrack. Then, we took an even longer ride to where we would snorkel. Route not withstanding, Gael was great.
However, the snorkel spot had strong currents. The guy who got in before us needed right back in the boat and needed help from Gael to do that. I even had to ask non-snorkelers to step back so we could get out of the way of Gael helping him. WTF is wrong with people? Why were they even up there if they weren’t going to snorkel?
After all that, it was my turn. Gael tried to put my mask on me, but I had to do it over my hair. And then I suffered a similar fate as the guy before. I got a mask, snorkel, and “breath” of sea water. I couldn’t kick because my water socks made my feet very heavy (Fins are allowed, but you have to provide your own. This is to minimize how many people kick the coral.) With a little help from Gael, I carefully worked my way around the outboard motor prop and back into the boat.
Next it was his turn. He made it in just fine and swam off like it was nothing. He swam back and asked me for the GoPro. However, that is a new toy, so the first real clip of video was of his face because the camera was backwards. LOL. He realized, turned it around and got some shots of some of the fishes. Having said that, the GoPro is made to mount to a handlebar, helmet, vest, etc. To save battery and allow it to record longer, the screen turns off. It’s a blind shoot.
“Jumping in” in from the back of a boat is a big reason we don’t boat dive. We can do it. We can do the back flip version, too. But neither of us like it. The only snorkeling I’ve done and really liked was from shore.
Everyone else got to snorkel for as long as they could/wanted, which was about 20 minutes for the longest ones. The waves and current just made everything a lot harder.
Gael drove us to the next spot, a waist-deep patch of water over a sand bar. He passed out drinks made of Tahitian rum and fruit including green Tahitian grapefruit. Most of the group did a bunch of selfies….but more clouds were rolling in.
Back at shore, we walked to a nearby cafe for lunch, just before the rain set in. I had an amazing club sandwich with egg salad on it. I’m telling Corporate Deli about this! It was a very nice touch.
We also did a tiny bit of window shopping before the full deluge. When it did let up, we hauled ass back to the tender to get back on board, rest, and attend the destination talk for Tahiti.
Before dinner, we bumped into I and had drinks. We learned she was on the fist voyage of this ship. Her name is even on a wall.
We didn’t care for any of the desserts in the Restaurant, so after dinner, we headed to the Collanade for dessert. There we saw Christine Allado. And then we saw her again on our deck doing her own laundry like a normal person. I hope she has a good YouTube channel I can follow when we get back to that.
Back in our cabin, we got ready to do it all over again in Tahiti.
Day 23: Papeete, Tahiti, Society Islands, French Polynesia
On our way to our “sailing”/snorkeling excursion, we noticed a very large and very fancy yacht next to us with it’s own separate support ship. It was nice, but we didn’t think much of it.
On our “sailing and snorkeling” excursion, we didn’t sail. Guess why we signed up for this excursion? Apparently, they never sail. They don’t want to, but they know it sells well, so they always claim that there isn’t enough of the right kind of wind to get out of it. We motored for over an hour in the 65′ catamaran. They also had real room for about a dozen people, but filled it with nearly double that. There were not enough places for our asses, our feet, and our bags. I’ve never been on a cat this big, but I’m guessing there wasn’t room for them to work the rigging since they filled the vessel.
The cat did have better access to the water with a staircase, and calmer water, so he snorkeled and got some fun video clips.
Our passage back to the dock was like 20 minutes, which was way longer than the way there; I call that proof that they are milking it. Lesson learned. However, on that route back, we did see tiki hut cabanas over the water that held large parties. They were like an over-the-water park pavilion you can rent for the day. We saw families having a birthday party, young singles drinking through their Sunday afternoon. Why wasn’t there an excursion to go do that?
Oh and that boat we didn’t think much about? It belongs to Merk Suckerburg, cost about $300M, is 387′ long, but can only hold 14 passengers at a time without crossing the line from a personal vessel to a commercial one. It even has a separate $30M companion ship with all the toys including a submersible. Ew at the disgusting waste of it all. In no way to 14 people and 17-18 crew need a $300M, 387′ vessel.
Finally, we tried to go past the dock and into the little town, but the mugginess was brutal and the security was just plain stupid. A 5-minute walk was going to be closer to 15 because the “car” gate couldn’t be used by humans…even on a Sunday when there are no cars. Had they not failed to ID us when we came back after our “sail”, that might be fair, but with that much slack, just let that guard ID people, too. It’s a terrible layout. And I bet zuck and his 14 friends don’t have to follow that dumb rule. By comparison, The Loon is quite a bit shorter and houses 12 guests plus crew.
After a nap, we hit the Destinations desk. I dropped the next excursion and we both dropped two more. Brendon felt awful that we needed to drop my spot inside the 48-hour window. He wanted to badly to refund us, but we knew the rules when we signed up. I’m far more disappointed than mad. And none of this is Seabourn’s fault. They are getting the best information they can to create excursions that are designed to appeal to the masses. Besides, we got it during the 25% off sale and it helps a weaker economy. It’s really okay.
For “happy hour” (which is every hour), the observation bar was nuts. We had never seen so many people in there. I’m just guessing that as people have made friends, they want to be able to talk more and prefer the conversation volume up there. Oh and that bar has some light snacks like cheese and crackers.
Not one appetizer/entree combination impressed us, so we ordered in from a couple of the available menus. It was a way to rest, too, since it was just easier.
The Seabourn Six show was nice in the first half–and the whole thing was very well designed with costumes and background media–but the second half was pure rubbish. There was one song that only the Brits knew, but our British friends couldn’t even tell us what it was. And yes, there was yet another Beatles medley. Turns out, the woman who produces the shows has three homes in three countries.
On the way to the Club, L asked us to sit with her and Brent. I told her I would not do that and when she asked why, I said it was because he’s a bigot and told her what he said in our presence. She said “oh no. I’ll have to investigate that.” (This gets good, later.) He popped over to the Patio Bar for a Coke Float…and had to teach the bartender how to make one.
Anyway, The Club was “weak” being a port day with another one tomorrow. But we made a new friend B. He’s a lot like us in terms of values. And while we were all chatting, we got accosted by a belligerent drunk (BD). BD was the partner of a new speaker on the ship. And I’m just going to say the BD is both unmedicated and risking his partner’s career. While he was just wildly drunk, we all ignored him. But when he became hazardous, I alerted the bartender and the bandleader, and they contacted security. BD’s actions in the beginning were “maybe he got excited and way too drunk” but a few short minutes later, he was aggressively punching himself in the head. His behavior was scary in a “Security, we need you” kind of way.
Day 24: Uturoa, Raiatea, Society Islands, French Polynesia
Not long after we awoke, C rang our bell. I had made very loose plans to hang with them while he took the tour I dropped. But they wanted to hit the island earlier than I realized and were headed out, but we still hadn’t had breakfast. While we waited for his group to go, we saw the balcony cleaning. It’s an extensive effort so that we qualify to go into New Zealand and its territories. I did some of our blogging and editing.
During his river tour, my “shopping” was quite limited during their Tahitian “siesta”/lunch break. Most of the stores close for at least an hour. The nearby shops also didn’t have anything I was looking for. Most of the products were made in India, Taiwan, or China. And there was no Tahitian Vanilla to be found.
I got back after I thought lunch was over, so I had Maui Onion chips for lunch. His river tour ended just as I was about to take a nap; he said it was pretty much like the others, so I made the right call. He also missed lunch so we ordered in a 4pm lunch, napped, and then ordered in again for an 8:30pm dinner.
We went for a quick drink in The Club and heard that the BD from the night before was handled by security. Good.
There was a Tahitian Dance Party on the pool deck. It was very nice, but it had poured just before, so there were very few places to sit down. For me, it was way too muggy to stay out there. I didn’t even last the five-ish minutes he did.
Day 25: Sea Day
After breakfast, I did some video editing while he worked the New York Times crossword puzzle from The Square. It took us both to finish it. We figured out one odd word, but had to look it up to see if it was real. Then, we verified two more. So, we solved it, but not confidently.
Our lunch was Greek. The Moussaka was wonderful, and he had lamb. I’m still amazed at the things he has eaten on this ship.
We went to the Patio Bar and sat next to L, and boy did she ever have a story to tell! She looked all around to make sure it was safe and then let us enjoy the story of her antics. The next time she was chatting with Brent the Bigot (BtB), she brought up Kamala. He made the same “hoe” comment to her that he did to me. She so needled him and asked why he thought that. When he said Kamala slept her way up, L told him that sounded like a rumor. This idiot doubled down and said “all rumors are based in fact”. So, a dinner or two later, she was at a larger table with him and caught the perfect moment. He wasn’t getting his wine refilled, so she told the guest next to her that he had been cut off. She said he was getting so drunk every night that he was vomiting off his terrace. When it got around the table to him, he said it wasn’t true. L said it must be true since all rumors are based in fact. Later in the evening, she pointed out that he was a victim of a rumor that was not based in fact. When he tried to defend himself, she even said, “well, maybe you are not a racist, but just a sexist.”
With every new part of the story, we were rolling with laughter and making additional jokes. We talked about how the “garbage fish” of the ocean were swarming below his terrace. I told L she was my hero. The jokes would not die and we all agreed that they would be part of the rest of the voyage. And then a few minutes later, the best thing ever happened: he came and sat two stools down from her. He was clearly trying to wait us out, but we just stayed put.
After I ordered an experimental drink–a coconut margarita. yum!–from our fabulous bartender, L told us of her private excursion: a coconut massage experience. She hired a Tahitian Masseuse who led her up a river to a waterfall. The masseuse hand mixed coconut oil with fresh coconut and had her sit in a certain spot in the river for a foot massage. She kept moving her to different parts of the river for the best seat for the next part of the massage. Then they both rinsed off under the waterfall, getting a percussive massage from the heavy water, washing away all the oil and fruit, before heading back. He and I were both drooling a little at the idea of it all. And when we get to some of our next ports of call, we are going to look for far more unique and local experiences. We aren’t mad about the ones that have been bad; we are just still learning. Oh, and L showed us her last name in an article she wrote, so now we can stalk fawn over her on the interwebs.
Anyway, L said she was going upstairs (there’s not much up there, so she was probably just getting away). BtB left immediately after. I’m going to wait a day or two before I ask him how he’s feeling and say that I heard he wasn’t well. He probably knows that we are the ones who ratted him out for his bigotry….to his crush.
Our dinner was another hosted table. He ordered the pasta with rabbit. Who is this man I married? Our host/s were two members of the Seabourn Six. It was fun to learn how their world works and how their shows are run. One of them also gave us some inside scoop to the biz. She got a callback to play Vivian for a non-union production of Legally Blonde The Musical. The salary would have been $450 a week. Even the part of Elle Woods only got $600. For what ticket prices are, this is terrible.
I was seated between the good friend of one of the magats and the “no air conditioning” woman from our second excursion (who absolutely didn’t recognize/remember me). I didn’t talk much except to the hosts.
After dinner, we headed to the show to hear a stellar performance from cellist Wendy Law. She jokingly asked us all to “like and subscribe” to her YouTube channel; I was the only one in The Salon who laughed. Daymn, I’m young. We are both glad we get another show from her. Her cello’s is named Sebastian (#theU) and he flies with his own seat. Our friend E got a couple of utterly fantastic shots of her and the pianist for the Seabourn Band. I caught a fun one of one her hair flips, and he got an amazing shot of her too.
We popped into The Club for one more quick drink, but that’s all we could handle before heading back to our cabin. We did notice that among the usual ruffians, there was no BD to be found. I wonder if he’s now confined to their cabin…?