Get the fuck away from me, Chris

Trigger warning: General/inappropriate mention of R. Not a specific moment and no details.

super unhappy with this graphic; will work on something better

We love our closest bar. It’s a British pub with a lovely little history. They keep a few good beers on tap (including British ones when the supply chain isn’t a mess). They have a good and interesting menu of British and Indian dishes as well as pub grub: Peshwari Wings, Chicken Masala, Bangers & Mash, Fish & Chips, wraps/burgers, tater tots, etc..

One of the regulars, Chris, is an asshat. He’s a Libertarian, and of course, everyone knows that he is because they always bring up politics. He’s also the Cliff Claven know-it-all of the bar; he’s an “expert” on everything. The worst part is his sweet fianc√© is obviously deluded. The next worst part is that he’s friends with the head bartender, so he’s in there all the damn time. We usually sit at the opposite end and don’t have to deal with him except when he wants everyone to hear his ignorant-in-the-ways-of-the-world opinion.

It was Mardi Gras. “Everyone” was there including some of our faves. When an off-duty bartender came to our end to chat with us, Chris just had to insert himself.

I was mostly ignoring him and trying to watch the Avalanche break a tie game when it happened. I don’t remember the context (since I was drinking, watching the game, and trying to ignore him), but he made a loud r— joke.

Me: “I know you did not just make a joke about r— in front of me.” (I really regret the “in front of me” part. None of what he said is ever okay, whether women are around or not.)

Him: fumbling over some words

Me: “Get the fuck away from me right now! Far, far, far away.”

To his credit, he went back to his end of the bar. Unsurprisingly, he did not apologize. (Or if he did, I didn’t hear him; I had some tunnel vision.)

Me to E: “Can we go?” and to the bartender: “Can we have our check?”

While I was paying, the bartender apologized for his asshole friend; I tried to assure him that none of this was his fault and that it wouldn’t impact our return.*

I was in tears before we could get out of there. We missed seeing the third period of the game and missed getting to chat with our friends who were just arriving…and who obviously wondered what the hell had happened.

Fuck you, Chris. Fuck your tiny and selfish mind (and other parts). Fuck your greed and hatred. Fuck your stupid-AF political views. Just FUCK YOU, Asshole. “You people” are a big part of what is wrong with our world.

* And it will impact our return. I’m sure that I’ll eventually be ready to go back there, but that day is not today. And it won’t be without a caveat to Chris that he’s never to get within 3 feet of me, does not speak to me, and behaves himself when pontificating to the whole damn bar. I hate it that one asshole ruined our little place we love.

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