Day 57 – to  London 2.1*

*This was our second proper visit to London. For one day last year we flew through Heathrow, so 2.1.

• After our DIY breakfast and packing, we made our way to London through a lot of steps: bus, train, tube, light rail, and walk.
• On the way to the hotel, we passed a halal/Indian/pizza place with a massive menu and told the owner we’d be back after we checked in. I had Biryani (my fave!) and he has his usual of Vindaloo. Then, since our room has a mini fridge, we hit a small market for Cokes and snacks.
• We spent the rest of the afternoon working and relaxing until dinner. The hotel lobby bar/restaurant made good pizza, so we shared that and a brownie with carmel sauce and vanilla ice cream. Service was a little weak, despite use a team-service model. We spent our evening resting/watching/gaming. I didn’t even work much.

Day 58 – ferry oh have mercy

• We should have planned better because we walked to breakfast and back, gathered up our stuff, and then passed our breakfast place on the way to the docks. 
• Our dock was near the barrier flood defence they use to keep the Thames from flooding the city. We were also pretty close to the gondola-style cable cars / aerial tramway that is part of the London transit system.
• Our dock was like Lord of the “dam” Flies. Massively-asshole children and their shitty moms had taken over. This is a big dock, but the seven kids were everywhere. It took all of our patience to even be there. Eventually a grandma suggested they have a singing contest with judges. That only made things worse; every one of the little shits is fully tone deaf, especially when they scream every word out of their mouths. — And that is a phenomenon others have noticed; I’ve read about it online. This generation of 2-11 year olds only scream; none of them have indoor voices. — This group was like a whole English gaggle of 4-10ish year olds with zero discipline from the four moms with them. At one point, a mom finally tried to discipline the most unruly little boy, but he just ran away from her, which must usually work for him. But he made a critical error and came toward me. I blocked that path, caught him trying to run by me, and turned him back to his mom. She thanked me profusely, but then she didn’t actually discipline him, so now we know why he’s the little shit that he is. Of course our boat was late making us spend even more time with the Devotees of TedDEY. We vowed to get on the next one even if it was in the wrong direction. So then that was their boat too, naturally. At the next stop a whole bunch more got on. It was hell. Finally, in the bigger tourist area, most of them got off the damn boat, including the original hellions. These kids are why some people kill their own children.
• Once on the ferry it was pretty hard to find a quiet place. The ferries are smaller. And since people like to move around and since people are constantly getting on, carving out a corner isn’t easy. At one point, while people were lined up to get off at one of the stops, another kid standing in line next to my seat said, “I’m gonna be sick.” I leaned away from her and readied my hands to turn her back to the aisle and her family instead of me. 
• We ended up at the end of our line (but not the end of the river) and found an indoor shopping mall inside an old power station (Battersea). It was very cool. We found food (Nando’s!) and beer (at a ping pong bar). When another group of kids–who of course didn’t really want to play ping pong–showed up, we found a market for cold beer to go and headed back to the dock. We crossed our fingers that our trip back to our hotel would be less kid riddled, even if it could be more complicated. It wasn’t complicated. And there were less kids, but the ones who were there still had really shitty parents. COVID really did a number on some people. At least I had beer and good earbuds. On the way to the hotel, I got more beer so I could just stay in the room for the rest of the evening. We also got stuff for breakfast the next day.
• Not long after we got back, we learned that Dolly passed away. Fuck this timeline. Our world is total hell if the mango moron is still alive and we have lost Dolly.
• Happy anniversary (of our engagement) to us.

Day 59 – resting and avoiding the heat 80⁰F/27⁰C – RIP Dolly Parton

• We had plenty of adventuring on the ferry the day before and had a big travel day ahead of us, so we slept in, DIY’d a “room service” breakfast, and used the day to work and rest.
• When it was time for more food, we found lunch at the other halal place in this neighborhood, Pizzaz. I had the best popcorn chicken I’ve ever had. 
• We stopped at Londis market to resupply the mini fridge. Every paper had a front page story about Dolly. 👩 🪕
• We spent the rest of the evening working/resting/packing to get ready for an early morning. 

Day 60 – London 2.1  > Amsterdam 0.3* > Oslo 3.0

*This made our third trip to an Amsterdam port, but we still haven’t been to the city. And this made our third trip to Oslo itself. We said this trip would be wonky and it has been. It’s also been a bunch of fun, so who cares about the order.

• We had to be up early to be at the airport by 8am for our 10am flight. I get this at larger airports, but at this little one, that was just a silly waste of time. We had “DIY room service” breakfast that we bought the day before, ordered an Uber since it was raining, and were there in a flash.
• During packing, I got distracted and mis-packed a couple of larger creams that I bought over here and had used one time each. That led to them getting taken away even though they were in my medical bag and could easily be argued as medically necessary. They also took my TSA approved corkscrew (granted US-based rule, but) it specifically has no blade and is less than 4”, so it meets all the posted requirements we could find for any airline and for any country. They did all of this while I got patted down, wanded, patted two more times, shoes scanned, shoes removed and taken away and scanned again, and returned with no instruction to me as to where to look for them. So, while I was wait-wait-waiting for my shoes, he had to deal with all my bags. What would have happened if I had been a solo traveller? Where would my bags have been during all of that? Easy theft items, I’m sure.
• We waited for at least a whole hour before we could know our gate. It didn’t post until 0930. Well then, 0900 would have been plenty of time (even if security gets demanding) for our arrival to the airport, huh, KLM @ LCY??
• At boarding, people didn’t follow the rules, making it all unnecessarily clogged. But the pilot said we’d be on time to make our connections, so it was fine. I do wish airlines would add a “rules & behavior” deposit. Let’s say $100 is added to your ticket. If you don’t get flagged for breaking the rules, you could get that deposit back. If you use a speaker, use your phone signal (Pixel users on this flight, we could see you dumbasses sharing your signal as Wifi.), argue with an FA, recline your seat for takeoff, just pretend to wear a seatbelt, bring luggage too big, fail to check your spinner after the airline sent out a message to everyone asking us all to do so, etc., you lose $50 per infraction. I think people would behave better with consequences. And the airline could make money on the interest of those deposits between the time of the sale and the flight. Now that I have thought it through, I can’t believe they aren’t doing this. That’s like printing money. 
• Our flight had some cheesy-flavored crackers as snacks. I could taste how bad they were for me, so I had like four and gave the rest to him.
• And then, we had yet another set of stairs and buses to debark in Amsterdam. It’s such a strange thing to be on the ground on the outside of an airport.
• We finally (after all these country changes this summer) went through the new
  EES system in the EU. The machines were ultra quick and easy to use. It makes sense that the ones in Amsterdam would be the most new-fangled machines.
• We had a 4.5-hour layover. It’s a good thing the Amsterdam airport is nice and big with plenty of general seating and power outlets. We had lunch, got some work done, and just hung out sans stress. Of course, our gate had to be at the very end of that concourse, the last-ass one, as he put it.
• In the boarding area, he noticed a guy with his shoes off. Ew. And why? Once we started boarding, we took another set of stairs to our bus to our plane. We shared the ride with a team of female, teenage athletes. I think they were football/soccer or volleyball players. 
• Once on the plane, the guy across the aisle from me took off his shoes. Ew. Why don’t people know how dirty floors of airports and airplanes are? And then, the dude behind us ordered a water during taxiing. I thought he had never flown before; he surmised that he had seen something about how to get free stuff on flights. We also had weak wifi. It already felt like a long day. But at least the flight went by quickly.
• The lights in the aircraft were pink, so he asked her if that was for Dolly. She wasn’t quite quick enough for her “yes” to be believable, but she was very sweet about it, and it was a nice coincidence. 🎀
• As soon as we landed in Oslo, he canceled that bus ride we had as a backup so we could get a credit. We think we’ll be able to use it while we are over here.
• After what felt like a very long walk over too many cobblestones, we checked back into the same hotel we had in Oslo 1.0, dropped our bags, and went back to the yummy Thai place around the corner. Normally, I’d have grabbed a bottle of wine from a store, but we are in Norway and the alcohol rules are strict. So, we hit the Irish bar for a couple of drinks. The band was very good; I’d have liked to hear them more, but we just needed less of that and more rest. Back at our hotel, I was shocked to see that they have the same beer on tap; it was even the same price. It was right there the whole time. While I waited to order one for the room, I felt bad for two guys in front of me. They were backpackers and needed a place to stay, but they couldn’t afford the hostel part of this hotel. Problem is, they aren’t going to find anything cheaper. I hope they ended up okay for the night. 
• Even with showers and other night-time rituals, sleep was long coming for me. Despite not sleeping much the night before, it took me a long time to feel sleepy.

Day 61 – RIP King Harald V of Norway

• For breakfast, we went to a Food Hall near us (that’s really a bougie Food Court at a bougie shopping mall) so we could have Los Tacos for brunch. He also saw a sign for a nice Tech Shop on an upper floor, so we headed up there to the heavenly mecca that is that area.
  • Every good quality brand. Every good quality product those brands make. Every niche within photography, videography, voice overs, podcasting, studio sound recording/mixing, and more. I was so impressed.
  • The guy who checked to see if we needed help was so kind. I told him we had nothing like this. He said there was one in New York, and then we said “B&H” at the same time. He said that place is enormous and makes this one look tiny. I believe it, but Oslo or New York, it’s about the same difference for me. And no one in the US can sell DJI drones and cameras right now, which means you can’t get a Hasselblad camera in the USA, even at B&H.
• On the way back, we made a “Joke(r) for a Coke” run so we could rest/work/game until lunch.
• We also learned that Norway lost their king early in the morning. Flags were at half mast. It was a sad and rainy day in Oslo; that’s fitting. May King Harald V rest in peace. 👑🇳🇴
• After some Fry Chick, we stopped again at Joker for some snacks and drinks. We are back in the land that limits alcohol. We didn’t remember that they can sell beer (but not wine or liquor) at the grocery stores, so I bought a single and looked up what we can buy for later (as a reward for getting all our “work” done: my writing/editing and his travel planning). 
• And then, for the third time in the same day, we went back to Joker for sandwich stuff for supper. It was also perfect timing because we walked there and back in some light rain, but right after we got back to our room, it started raining a lot harder.
• Our restful day continued with working, gaming, and packing, The next 14 days will be busy-busy.

(our next few updates will fall behind again)